Red Mage Conspiracy

“

If you didn’t find some way of stopping it, people would go on asking questions.

The teachers were useful there. Bands of them wandered through the mountains, along with the tinkers, portable blacksmiths, miracle medicine men, cloth peddlers, fortune tellers, and all the other travelers who sold things the people didn’t need every day but occasionally found useful.

They went from village to village delivering short lessons on many subjects. They kept apart from the other travelers and were quite mysterious in their ragged robes and strange square hats. They used long words, like corrugated iron. They lived rough lives, surviving on what food they could earn from giving lessons to anyone who would listen. When no one would listen, they lived on baked hedgehog. They went to sleep under the stars, which the math teachers would count, the astronomy teachers would measure, and the literature teachers would name. The geography teachers got lost in the woods and fell into bear traps.

People were usually quite pleased to see them. They taught children enough to shut them up, which was the main thing, after all. But they always had to be driven out of the villages by nightfall in case they stole chickens.

” The Wee Free Men, Terry Pratchett (via catefrankie)

(via fuckyeahdiscworld)

“However, assassins black doesn’t frighten everyone, and in certain sections of society there is a distinct cachet in killing an assassin. it’s rather like smashing a sixer in conkers.
Broadly, therefore, the three even now lurching across the deserted planks of the Brass Bridge were dead drunk assassins and the men behind them were bent on inserting the significant comma.”

Terry Pratchett, I love you. I 

I

I love you, Terry Pratchett.

(via jaapr)

(via fuckyeahdiscworld)

“‘Veni, vidi, vici.’ I came, I saw, I conquered. As a comment it always struck Vimes as a bit too pat. It wasn’t the sort of thing you came up with on the spur of the moment, was it? It sounded as if he had worked it out. He’d probably spent long evenings in his tent, looking up in the dictionary short words beginning with V and trying them out…Veni, vermini, vomui, I came, I got ratted, I threw up? Visi, veneri, vamoosi, I visited, I caught an embarrassing disease, I ran away? It must have been a big relief to come up with three short acceptable words. He probably made them up first, and then went off to see somewhere and conquer it.” Jingo, Terry Pratchett (via esmereldaweatherwax)

(via fuckyeahdiscworld)

“

They avoided one another’s faces, for fear of what they might see mirrored there. Each man thought: one of the others is bound to say something soon, some protest, and then I’ll murmur in agreement, not actually say anything, I’m not as stupid as that, but definitely murmur very firmly, so that the others will be in no doubt that I thoroughly disapprove, because at a time like this it behooves all decent men to nearly stand up and be almost heard…

But no one said anything. The cowards, each man thought.

” Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards! (via ruuger)

(via fuckyeahdiscworld)